Everyone is getting married...................

So, currently every time I log onto Facebook I see a fellow classmate from either HS or college that is getting married. I'm genuinely happy for them, but can't help to place myself in their spot. I think about what would it be like to be in their spot and would I be totally ready for that commitment. I don't have commitment issues at all, but I just know that I am not ready nor is my current state of mind ready. I have goals that need to  be finished and actually beginning a lifelong relationship like that is a bit much to add on. Don't be mistaken, I really do want to be married one day, but I just need time for me to get to know myself after college. My philosophy for myself is that I will graduate, get into dental school, live alone in an apartment for a while, then pursue that step in life (marriage). Hopefully this marriage will be with my current loving boyfriend if he still wants to be with my crazy self! :)

I just hold marriage up to really high standards and it is nothing to be played around with. You are totally committing yourself to one person for the rest of your life through thick and thin. I can't just decide to divorce when something isn't working out the right way. The older I get the more sacred marriage becomes to me. There are just too many people abusing the right to get married. Some still want to have another life while married with someone else, some want to be married for greed, some marry because it looked fun. This marriage thing is serious business. If you get married you take a vow before God that you will be faithful to this one person no matter what......NO MATTER WHAT. I just cant stress that enough.

I also learned that my dream wedding is a simple wedding. I want my closest friends, my family and I want a nice dress of course minus all the extra mess with having fifty people in a wedding court. I don't need all that showboating crap that people do in weddings that cost $50, 000. Even if I had that much money to spend on a wedding when I get to that point I wouldn't do it. I want my marriage to last longer than my wedding does.

I can wait and then I cant wait if that makes sense. I know that I'm in no position to be married, but I cannot wait till I actually am and when I feel like everything is together. I'm only in my early twenties I just feel like there is so much to life right now and I want to travel. I can't even think about having children because I'm not in the position to even have one! I just want to live and enjoy somethings as a non married person free of dependents.